Target is my favorite store to buy stuff from and return it after I’ve played with it for a few weeks. They’re not control freaks about taking back returned merchandise like Wal-Mart and Fred Meyer are. When it’s something from the electronics department, those places make me wait for an electronics cashier to come over and inspect the merchandise to make sure it’s the right item and I haven’t tried to be sneaky and keep anything from the box. As if!
And the electronics cashier is usually some 30-year-old man that probably lives in his mom’s basement still and plays WoW whenever he’s not working in electronics. Those jerks LIVE to say, “We can’t take back this ipod because it’s obvious you’ve taken it apart because there are pry marks all over the edges!” to me. JERKS.
But we’re not here to talk about those people. This review is about the wonderful employees at Target. You know those Kindle-like e-readers there that Sony makes? I bought one of those for $299.99 and kept it for 5 weeks. I read a couple of books on it and played around with the menus and stuff. They’re pretty neat devices, but it seems crazy to blow $300 on a reader and then $9.00 on books from their online store that are lost forever when the e-reader breaks. But that didn’t matter to me because I put some pirated PDF files of books on it to read and got a full $299.99 refund when I was done reading it. No questions asked, and no electronics employee to come over and scrutinize the return. Just $299.99 back on my Visa.
Then I went back to the sane way of reading books – borrowing from the public library for FREE or paying $5.99 for a paperback without the extra $299.99 fee. Sheesh, e-reader people, WTF.
When I buy expensive electronics, they’re always like, “Do you want the extended warranty plan for just $39.99?” I’m like, “No, because you fools will just let me return it anyway! Haha!” And they try to argue with me that it only works for 60 days after purchase, but I know better. It’s like the Xbox 360 we bought from them and it quit working after only a year. What a huge ripoff, right? Nah, it’s okay, because we just bought a brand new one from Target and then returned the old broken one in the box for a $499.99 refund. And when this one breaks after a year, I’m sure they’ll let us do it again! Target is like a free lifetime warranty on all your stuff!
As the video above proves, my favorite thing to do is to buy cameras and video cameras and take crazy pictures and videos on them, then return them for the next person to find when they buy it. I like to make videos telling the customers that they just paid full price for something that was pre-owned by me. And filling up a camera’s memory with disturbing porn images makes me giggle like a school girl. Once I bought an mp3 player, filled it up with the sound of me brushing my teeth for 3 hours, then returned it.
Like most stores, Target’s policy on computer software is that they’ll only accept returns if the package is unopened. But that just means if the seal is broken on the top or bottom of the box. What return desk employees NEVER think to check is the seam on the side of the box. I open that up with a razor, copy the software, use the registration code and then seal the box back up with Elmer’s glue. They’d never be able to tell the difference even if they did think to check the side of the box.
The return desk people rarely even open the box to make sure there’s even stuff in it. I returned a Wii once and the teenage girl didn’t even open the box. Same with a DS. I could have filled the box with rocks and they wouldn’t have even noticed until I had my $300 refund and was back home. Not that I would ever do something so heinous.
Anyway, thanks to Target I’ve gotten to experience the fun of playing around with all kinds of fun gadgets and appliances. From printers to blu-ray disc players, they’ll gladly take back anything at full price. When you need to shampoo your carpets, don’t spend $50 on a rental! Buy it from Target and return it for free!
My only complaint about Target is that they always insist on begging me to apply for a Target credit card whenever I make a purchase there. Usually I scream at them, “NO, ASSHOLE, I’M ALREADY $7,000 IN DEBT BECAUSE I HAVE NO SELF-CONTROL WITH MY CREDIT CARDS!” Sometimes I’ll throw a pen at their face too, but usually only if it’s a guy because girls cry and make a scene. I highly recommend Target for all your needs!
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of corse you can cry under water,and i pulled flys wings and still called it a fly